A confession

By Suraj Jung Karki
Published: January 14, 2018 07:27 AM

His mind is a rolling wheel
Thoughts of journey 
Never seems to end 
Words disperse like rain
Evaporates and condensates
A book and a pen 
The book of desire, He longed to write 
How far conscious am I? 
In disgust, you became the saint
Burnt away all the pages 
The ashes serve as souvenir
To moments that fade away
A loss of time, but compensates
To memory, a present to past
A friend to remember, an enemy to forget 
In regards, the child has a hold of him 
Let him play, regardless 
The adult matures, he must work and pay
He is asleep, so lost in his dreams
You be the alarm to wake him up
In a battle, would he keep his promises
To surrender or 
Fight a battle further 
Or to be a murderer? 
His differences are so constrained
 Abandon is the rage, he sums up to
 A person we’re familiar with
The personality divided, remainder into two
In consummation,  
Extortion of his dreams is a crime
He redeems retribution 
Retribution is a transgression 
An act of crime, 
So he has a confession to rhyme 
He confess, 
He calls you parents 
And he is the child  
You forget the remembrance 
He is to believe 
And you are the faith
 He confess,
He is still, numb in faith
His poetry flows in motion 
A cry, tear drops from these eyes
His poem is blocked by dams of emotion
 A question to answer 
How can the river flow into an ocean?  
How would the river flow into the ocean? 

Karki is a high school graduate from GEMS. 

Request history8.2.19PHP Version5.63sRequest Duration6MBMemory UsageGET amp/news/{slug}Route
    • Booting (20.55ms)time
    • Application (5.61s)time
    • 1 x Application (99.63%)
      5.61s
      1 x Booting (0.36%)
      20.55ms
      1 templates were rendered
      • frontend.amp-detailamp-detail.blade.php#?blade
      uri
      GET amp/news/{slug}
      middleware
      web, mynews, kyc
      controller
      App\Http\Controllers\Frontend\News\NewsController@getBySlug
      namespace
      prefix
      where
      as
      news.slug
      file
      app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:276-373
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        • 0: a-confession
        • 1: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:297
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:291
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
      • NewsController.php#297republica1780μsselect `attachments`.`id`, `directory`, `file`, `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` as `pivot_news_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` as `pivot_attachment_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `news_has_attachments`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `attachments` inner join `news_has_attachments` on `attachments`.`id` = `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` where `news_has_attachments`.`is_featured_image` = '0' and `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` in (34343)
        Bindings
        • 0: 0
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:297
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:291
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
      • NewsController.php#297republica1580μsselect `categories`.`id`, `name`, `news_has_categories`.`news_id` as `pivot_news_id`, `news_has_categories`.`category_id` as `pivot_category_id`, `news_has_categories`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `news_has_categories`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `categories` inner join `news_has_categories` on `categories`.`id` = `news_has_categories`.`category_id` where `news_has_categories`.`news_id` in (34343)
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:297
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:291
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
      • NewsController.php#297republica1570μsselect `attachments`.`id`, `directory`, `file`, `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` as `pivot_news_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` as `pivot_attachment_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `news_has_attachments`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `attachments` inner join `news_has_attachments` on `attachments`.`id` = `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` where `news_has_attachments`.`is_featured_image` = '1' and `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` in (34343)
        Bindings
        • 0: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:297
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:291
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
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        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:297
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:291
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
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        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:388
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:380
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:306
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
      • NewsController.php#388republica1920μsselect `attachments`.`id`, `directory`, `file`, `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` as `pivot_news_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` as `pivot_attachment_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `news_has_attachments`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `attachments` inner join `news_has_attachments` on `attachments`.`id` = `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` where `news_has_attachments`.`is_featured_image` = '0' and `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` in (73967, 84747, 89871, 107609, 120176, 130507)
        Bindings
        • 0: 0
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:388
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:380
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:306
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
      • NewsController.php#388republica1630μsselect `attachments`.`id`, `directory`, `file`, `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` as `pivot_news_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` as `pivot_attachment_id`, `news_has_attachments`.`created_at` as `pivot_created_at`, `news_has_attachments`.`updated_at` as `pivot_updated_at` from `attachments` inner join `news_has_attachments` on `attachments`.`id` = `news_has_attachments`.`attachment_id` where `news_has_attachments`.`is_featured_image` = '1' and `news_has_attachments`.`news_id` in (73967, 84747, 89871, 107609, 120176, 130507)
        Bindings
        • 0: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:388
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:380
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:306
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
      • NewsController.php#416republica1740μsselect `id`, `title`, `excerpt`, `permalink`, `pub_date`, `is_subscriber_only`, `read_time`, `news_slug` from `news` where `pub_date` between '2025-04-12 09:15:13' and '2025-04-13 09:15:13' and `id` not in (34343) and `status` = 1 order by `view_count` desc limit 3
        Bindings
        • 0: 2025-04-12 09:15:13
        • 1: 2025-04-13 09:15:13
        • 2: 34343
        • 3: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:416
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:426
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:410
        • app/Http/Controllers/Frontend/News/NewsController.php:315
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
      • UpdateNewsVisitListener.php#27republica12.66supdate `news` set `view_count` = `view_count` + 1, `news`.`updated_at` = '2025-04-13 09:15:13' where `id` = 34343 and `status` = 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 2025-04-13 09:15:13
        • 1: 34343
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Listeners/UpdateNewsVisitListener.php:27
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/helpers.php:473
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:264
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      7News.php#?
      App\Models\Attachment
      6Attachment.php#?
      App\Models\Category
      1Category.php#?
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