Breaking conventions with Mannsi Agrawal

You can hear her smile when she answers the phone. What you can also hear is her son, somewhere in the background, demanding she stop talking on the phone and pay attention to him. At 31, Mannsi is expert at juggling work and her responsibilities of being a mother. And work isn’t just one thing. Corporate trainer and toastmaster by profession, she started taking pictures of her son when he was little and has been doing baby photography under the brand name Cherry Orchard ever since. What’s more, she even does stand-up comedy every once in a while, and though she says she can’t write comedy, one can assume she must be pretty good at it if she keeps doing it. She recently did The Last Sucker, the last stand-up comedy of 2016, and has already said yes to another show scheduled in January.

This week, Mannsi joins us to talk about breaking conventions, why she chooses to overwork, and the value of research, hard work and dedication.

How did you decide to do your own thing versus work for someone else?

I got married before I graduated. It was actually two months before my second year exams. I came to Nepal and I was depressed. Though I eventually did graduate, being in a place where I didn’t speak or understand the language being spoken at ‘home’ really bogged me down. Then I joined the Toastmasters. I met likeminded people I could draw strength from and got back a lot of confidence I had lost. At that time, I was also working at City Center as the marketing manager but I didn’t want to work under anyone else so I quit that job.

I then taught at some colleges but while I enjoyed teaching, I didn’t like correcting papers. So I left that too. Then in 2011, I started my training sessions. First it was brief sessions at schools and colleges and then the big names entered the picture. Now I hold trainings for Ncell, Sipradi, and WWF to name a few.

What made you want to take up photography? Isn’t it difficult to photograph babies and kids? You’ve also recently ventured into food photography. How did that happen?

I wanted to document my son’s growing up phase and started talking photos of him. Then some friends wanted me to take photos of their kids and they wanted to pay me. I didn’t even know how much to charge in the first place. But I realized I could. That’s how I took it up professionally. Then I worked and practiced like a manic. I’m constantly learning new techniques and honing my craft. There is a lot of research, study and hard work that goes into photography. I spent the whole of last month updating my props. I bought small cars, swings, and other such toys. Sujata Setia, one of the best baby photographers internationally, did a one-day class in magical realism. I took that class and now I’m really excited to try it.

Photographing children is tricky. To take their photos, you have to get them to like you first and then maybe bribe them a little too. It’s a long process. A shoot that is supposed to take two hours will take four to six hours at the least. Sometimes clients tell me their kid isn’t in the right mood and cancel the rest of the shoot after I’ve been shooting for three hours. Sometimes they want a particular kind of photo and I’ll have to shoot for another two hours to get that one shot.

As for food photography, I saw no one was doing it in Nepal and I didn’t even know if I would be paid for it. But I took it up anyway and am getting quite a few assignments. These days, everywhere I go, I will buy plates, bowls, and napkins to use during food shoots. And I’ll buy one. I’m too cheap to buy six. I have a neat little stash of bowls, plates, and trays now.

Of all the things you do, which is the one thing you enjoy the most and why?

Corporate training and photography are like second nature to me now. Though I put in a lot of research and hard work for both, they are not things that make me anxious anymore. But I get very nervous about doing stand up comedy. I always want to run away before a show. I don’t know why I still do it. I think the other girls – Shailee Basnet and Seema Golcha – have conned me into this. Right before a show, I’m a nervous wreck. For a few days before the show I’m a non-functional person – I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight. But then whenever Shailee or Seema talk about a show, I’m up for it again.

Stand up is definitely the most challenging thing I do. If I mess up a shoot, I know I can fix it during the post-production but in stand up there is no second chance and that’s so scary. The delivery part is easy but the writing bit is tough. I’m always borrowing a line here and a line there from Shailee and Seema.

What is the biggest lesson you have learned so far?

Let me tell you all a little story. I was supposed to hold 24 sessions in public speaking for a class of people who had cleared the Lok Sewa. And because Lok Sewa exams are so tough, the ones who have passed it clearly feel like a cut above the rest. Now, I was a woman around 10 years younger than most of the people in that class who wanted to train them in a language they didn’t want to learn (English). People refused to even enter my class. I would be inside the room, feeling embarrassed and wanting to run knowing I would have to find a way to cut through the ice. But within just four sessions, these people were in love with me.

So besides the obvious lessons like working hard and being prepared, I have learnt that no matter what I am, what I know or how I carry myself, I have to be able to put all that aside and teach them in a way they want to learn. For that I have even danced to a Bihari song. I let them decide the pace and lingo of the class. I’m just the facilitator. I let the students decide the mode and flavor of the session.

What does your busiest day look like? And if were given three more hours per day, what would you do with them?

I’m a night owl, I never sleep before one or two, but despite that I wake up early because I have to send chora (son) to school. Once that is sorted and he is off to school, I start cooking and then get ready for the day which will either have a shoot, class, or editing on its agenda. I work between 10am to 2pm because I want to be available for my son when he gets back at 3pm. So by 2:30pm, I’m home. After my son comes back from school, it’s all about him. I do all the editing at night when everyone is fast asleep.

If I were given three extra hours in a day, I’d probably work more. I could say I would workout or pamper myself but I know I won’t. I would again love to read but I know I’d end up editing photos because I have no time for that otherwise. Maybe I’d write a bit more. It’s been my lifelong dream to write a book, and I have been inspired by my cousin Revant, who has written a book titled, Selfienomics. A little known fact: My name is there in the acknowledgements section.

What’s the hardest thing about being your own boss/freelancing?

There are times when you are starting out when you won’t know how much work you will get. That uncertainty is really nerve wrecking. I have that fear of not having enough work that I overwork myself. And, to an extent, that’s true for every freelancer. For me, I don’t have the pressure of household expenses, my husband takes care of all that, so I’m not working for the money.

The reason I push myself so much is because I have no one or nothing to push me. There is no incentive for me to get out of my room if I don’t want to. I would have been a sloppy thing on the bed. I know me and I’m scared of being that person.

Being a working mother can’t be easy. How do you manage to do juggle between your work responsibilities and being a full time mother?

Being a mother is a taxing job. Of course you love your child. My son is a huge part of my world. But I can’t make him my entire world. It’s too big a burden for the child as well. While there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him, I can’t let my son take over my life as well. After I had my son, for months I would only weep. I had major post partum depression. Even my mother didn’t understand it at that time. For her, her three kids (me and my siblings) were her world. She thought I was just a bad mother. If I hadn’t started working, I would have lost my sense of self so, in that sense, I’m grateful for being able to do all that I do and I’d never take my work for granted.

As for the juggling bit, I’m a super multitasker. I’m cleaning the cupboard while talking to a friend, or scheduling shoots. I can sometimes be found shelling peas for three hours straight while making phone calls, giving directions to Alisha (my assistant) while making my son’s lunch. It’s easy when you are good at multitasking and women generally are.