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My City, Gen-Next, Heart To Heart

Be Patient… It takes time to build a bond

Let me start by telling you that relationships are all about balance, compromise and sacrifices. Both of you need to sit down and be open to each other, share your dreams and fears. Talk to one another, communicate!
Photo: The ONE Thing
By Republica

Dear Sadichha,

I am 23 and I am a comedy movies/series freak. Friends being my favorite show of all time, I intend to make a Nepali sitcom. I already have an idea about it. However, my parents are sending me to India to study aeronautical engineering. I really don’t want to hurt them as they have always wished to see me as an engineer. Also, my parents don’t what sitcom actually means. It’s really tough. I don’t know what to do.


Is studying aeronautical engineering your choice? Do you want to pursue this as your career? Also, being very honest, I will tell you this, we all enjoy movies, sitcoms and are very quick when it comes to thinking that we will be able to do a better job at it. However, the reality is far from what we think. Hence, if you don’t really have a background in this, I don’t believe it is going to be as easy as you think. But, if you are still very interested you can share your ideas with people or friends who are in this field and see if they can take your idea forward. It’s your decision at the end of the day, if you feel like you will be happier and be able to sustain yourself by staying back and following your passion then do that by all means. But I would also suggest exploring the engineering opportunities and after you are done with that, if you are still passionate about tit then you can definitely come back and continue that!


Dear Sadichha,

I am a graduated in arts. My boyfriend on the other hand is an engineer. As we have been together for 10 years, our chemistry is unique. However, in a few months, he is leaving Nepal. We carry different aspirations. He wants to stay there while I want to do something in my country. He has asked me to marry and settle with him. But I don’t know how to tell him my side of the story. I am scared if doing so will hurt our relationship.


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Let me start by telling you that relationships are all about balance, compromise and sacrifices. Both of you need to sit down and be open to each other, share your dreams and fears. Talk to one another, communicate! See where you can meet each other half way. You will have to choose what is more valuable for you? Being able to do something in your country or being with your boyfriend of 10 years. If you are done with your studies and have the liberty to travel with him, I think you could explore that option too. Who knows maybe you will find a way to do something for Nepal, from outside of Nepal. Meanwhile, you boyfriend can also explore opportunities here for an engineer if you absolutely don’t want to leave Nepal. However, if both of you are sticking to your own decisions, then you can talk about where the relationship will head once he leaves and you stay. Long distance workout but they are a lot of hard work; decide if the two of you are ready for that.


Dear Sadichha,

People tell me I am a good singer. I have always wanted to become a singer. But going to college seems like a waste of time for me. I don’t understand anything about physics. A year has passed and still, I copy all my homework, sleep in almost every class and pass the exam with cheating. I really don’t want to go to college. I think it’s just a waste of money on me.


I know a lot of students who would agree with you. During my college years, even I found myself questioning all the accounts class I took while I was doing my BBS (Bachelors in Business Studies). However, I have come to realize that basic education, no matter what, is very important. I don’t know how old you are, or if you are pursuing your Bachelors or +2. However, what I will suggest you is not to quit! Stick through the classes no matter how difficult they are. Meanwhile, pursue music on the side, start taking classes and uploading videos on social media and see the kind of response you get from strangers. Once your confidence is built, start performing. This way you would know if you are built for this industry before you decide to quit your college altogether. Explore opportunities before you decide.


Dear Sadichha,

I work in a reputed organization in the capital. There are people who always exclude me. Let it be while going for lunch or getting a group invitation, I am always left out. They never inform me. I know it sounds like an attention seeker, but it really saddens me. I think I have no friends with whom I can express myself to. I am just scared that this excessive burden might lead me to doing bad things to myself. Please tell me what to do.


It’s not easy to make friends at the workplace. Adults can sometimes be more difficult that children. How long have you been working at this organization? If it is not long ago then do give it some time. You need to adjust and so do they. Also, here’s an idea, instead of waiting for them to invite you, why don’t you invite them to lunch someday or to the movies after work, that way you will get to bond with them and see each other in a different light. You can share how you are feeling to your close friends outside of work too or your family members at the end of the day. Writing a journal would also help you let it out. Don’t let what happens at the office burden you too much. It is not your whole life; just a few hours from your day. Learn to enjoy and look at the good things in life. At work, focus on your work mainly and don’t let office politics bother you.


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