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Every problem has a solution

I’m a 13-year-old girl and I live with my mother and aunty, brother and two sisters. As a family consisting primarily of females, my mother has to distribute household works between us, this sometimes means walking outside late at night to get water for the family.
By Republica

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Dear Sadichha,

I’m a 13-year-old girl and I live with my mother and aunty, brother and two sisters. As a family consisting primarily of females, my mother has to distribute household works between us, this sometimes means walking outside late at night to get water for the family. I’m afraid that something will happen to me and I don’t know what to do because I need to help my family. Please help.


Firstly, you haven’t really mentioned where do you stay? Do you stay in Kathmandu, any major cities or outside? Or how late at night do you have to go out to get water? Also, I don’t think this should be a big problem. Few simple solutions can be- You can always take someone else with you. You can take your brother or your sister with you when you have to go get water. This way they can help you in bringing it back home. In return, you could also help them in their share of the household chores. It will make the workload easier for both of you and help in binding as well. If it is for drinking water you can always get water jars for your convenience. Or if there is a possibility of going out to get water during the day or late afternoon, you could do that too, so that you don’t have to be afraid while you are out late at night.


 


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Dear Sadichha,

I am a 17 years old female. I really like talking to people and making friends. But for the past few weeks, I feel like I shouldn’t be crossing the line. I started to talk to fewer people from yesterday and I already feel down. I know it is really hard but I don’t think I am ever going to talk to people in a friendly way. I am losing myself but I don’t know anymore. What should I do?


From your question, I feel like you are conflicted within yourself. There is no harm in talking to people and wanting to make friends but like you mentioned you should remember to not cross any line in any relationships. Try to find that balance. You might not be able to get it right away but with time, you will learn. Remember to take your time and not share everything as well. That is not wise. When people share their personal things with you also remember to not go around sharing that with other people. I also think when it comes to friends it’s important to remember- quality over quantity. Having a few great friends is much better than having many acquaintances. When talking to people be friendly, but not over-friendly. Making friends and being friendly can seem like a lot of pressure especially in today’s day and age but you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t get good vibes from specific people it’s important to listen to your gut feeling and stay away from them.


 


Dear Sadichha,

I am an 18 years old guy doing an internship at one of the reputed company of Nepal. I don’t know how I got into drugs. Right now, I really don’t care anything except it. I am sensible when I haven’t taken but rest of the times, I just want to die. I have really tried to quit but it’s so hard. I don’t know what has stopped me to quit my life. I am so scared that one day my life will go like “snap”. Please help me.


Thank you for writing to me and sharing this but one of the first things I will tell you is to seek professional help! Getting out of drugs is not easy. I suggest you share this problem with your family or your close friends. Let them help you. You don’t have to deal with this alone. With people by your side, people who love you, care for you- it will be easier for you to overcome this. Everyone needs motivation and help during challenging times. Don’t be negative, there’s no problem that doesn’t have a solution. You writing to me, wanting change is itself a step towards the positive. You need to act now, seek help and get better. All the best!


 


Dear Sadichha,

I am a 28 years old male. As you know mostly after you turn 25, you become the talk of society. I became the one for the past three years. Everyone I meet on the streets asks about my plans for marriage. I just finished my bachelors and trying to adjust to my job. But after having such a tough time at work, I feel even more irritated. I feel like none would understand and I am becoming more and more ill-tempered. What should I do?


As someone who has experienced this, the only thing I will tell you is to not take it seriously. The talkative neighbors, relatives, aunties, and even friends will just ask you to poke you at times. Don’t really think about it too much. When it comes to marriage, one should be sure about the right time. As you mentioned, you just finished your bachelors and are now working so there’s still time. Age doesn’t define when we are ready to get married or when the society tells us to, it’s when you feel ready! All the nagging related to marriage you listen just let it go, don’t let it bother you. Don’t spoil your mood over something that you can’t control. You could also google witty answers to give when someone talks about marriage and use it the next time someone asks you about it! 

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