Don’t be afraid to discuss coronavirus with your children, because they are all aware of the measures suggested, and enforced by the government to contain it
Everyone is talking about coronavirus. It is now a pandemic, with schools closed, and the country under lockdown. People are wearing masks. Now their household has hand sanitizer bottles. On top, you instructed everyone to wash their hands every half hour. Even the phone company set the phone's caller ring back tone to play information related to coronavirus. Under such circumstances, your children have heard about coronavirus.
A few days ago, I had a small discussion with children—from grades six to 12—of the community about coronavirus, abiding by the rules of social distancing. I wanted to find out their level of understanding of coronavirus. I found their knowledge of the virus was limited. During the discussion, I encouraged them to ask questions. At first, they did not ask any questions, but later they asked a lot: “Why are people wearing masks? Why do we have sanitizers at home? What is coronavirus? Why do we have to wash our hands so often?”
The parents are facing a similar challenge right now. They understand the importance of appropriately informing their children, and they are right too. Children of all ages need to understand the virus. With schools closed, it is the parent's responsibility to give their children developmentally appropriate information regarding the virus. But how to go about it is the big question. You have to explain it to your kids, what coronavirus is, where it comes from, how it travels, and how to fight it. I think it is always a good idea to prepare yourself before your children come to you and ask about it. Here are some tips from the experts at the Child Mind Institute.
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First, don't be afraid to discuss coronavirus with your children, because they are all aware of the measures suggested, and enforced by the government to contain it. Besides, you have instructed them to wash their hands more frequently. They also see face masks at home that you have been fortunate enough to get for your family. It is natural for them to be curious about the virus, and it is their right to know more about it. Not talking about something worries children more. According to Mister Rogers, anything human is mentionable, and anything mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.
Find out how much your children know about coronavirus, and how they feel about what they know. Provide plenty of opportunities for your children to ask questions. You focus on honestly answering your child's questions. It's ok if you don't have answers to all their questions. Frankly tell them that you don't have all the answers and that you will update them as more information becomes available. For your children, your presence when they need you is more important than answers to their questions. Your goal at the moment is to avoid encouraging frightening fantasies.
Your aim is to help your children. For that be informed and get fact-based information that is likely to be more reassuring to them than whatever they are hearing from their friends on social media. After deciding to talk about it, be careful, and deliver only developmentally appropriate information. Don't volunteer too much information, as that might overwhelm them. For your children, your presence when they need you is more important than answers to their questions. Your goal at the moment is to avoid encouraging frightening fantasies and calm your children.
For that, you need to be calm. Deal with your anxiety first. Take your time to cool down, and relax, before you talk to your children. Finally, when you decide to talk to your children, try to reassure them because children are egocentric. Just the news broadcast on TV is enough to make them worry and think they will catch it too. Hence, make it very simple. It might be a good idea to tell your little one coronavirus is a bad germ, like monsters, and they love to travel.
Our job is to stop them from traveling further. Now, they will most likely ask, how do they travel? This is where you need to emphasize, that they travel from person to person through cough droplets and hands. That is a reason to stay away from people, not touch your face, eyes, and mouth. That will also explain the need for social distancing, washing hands, and the use of hand sanitizers. Make it a kind of game, for them to understand better. While you are at it, also teach them to cough/sneeze into their elbow.
At this point, be ready for their next question: How do we stop this monster germ? This is the time to teach them about washing hands properly, with soap and water. They will ask you, how long they need to wash their hands? Tell them, when they start washing their hands, they should sing the alphabet song till the end or till they finish the birthday song twice, or the national anthem, if your children are older. They should wash their hands each time they come inside the house from outside before they eat, after they blow their nose, cough, sneeze, or use the bathroom. When they finish singing, their hand washing is done. Also, teach them to stand, at least three feet (six feet is ideal) away from another person, and wear a mask, when in public. Parents, please be careful, and stick to a routine, since the schools are closed, their routine is disturbed. Children are used to a kind of routine at schools and daycare. Structured days with regular mealtimes and bedtimes are an essential part of keeping kids happy and healthy.
Finally, tell your children, you are always there for them and that they can always ask questions. They need to understand that the lines of communication are always open. Take this time to get closer to your children. Parents can at least do that to strengthen their bonds with their children.
(Usha Pokharel is an educationist and author of several children’s books)
